So things have been bothering me lately and now seemed like a nice time to do a little rant and so forth...
School is out in approximately two months and things are gonna change. So much that I'm gonna have a hard time handling it. I've just been thinking a lot about what is coming to me in the next year or so. How everythig I knew is gonna change. Moving away from all I've known down to the, well, unknown.
Y'see, after I get outta school (I'm a senior in high school...joy) I have to make this huge decision that's gonna drastically alter my life. I gotta choose whether or not to move away, off to Arizona to live with my mom OR the alternative, stay in California with all I have left. My friends, my life, all that I've built.
I mean, obviously things are gonna end soon enough. Everyone's gonna leave for college, friendships will fade and everything will change. It's really nerve-racking to think about how this is gonna go along.
After all, if I move out to AZ, I'm gonna be in a very stable living condition...or so I'd think. The down side to it is that I'm gonna need to quit smoking or stock up on Febreeze to hide the stench because then I can no long blame it on my father. I get the feeling that if I move, I'll turn out to be a nervous wreck. I know for a fact that I'll NEVER be ready to move on. I'm still a teenager inside and although the years will go by, I won't want them to.
I wish we never aged, got diseases, etc. Because then not much would have to change.
I need to really figure out how I'm gonna do things and what the hell I'm gonna end up ending it all. I could live here with a ton of my friends as roommates.. But that would require a job, and right now, finding one seems to be as hard as licking your elbow, practically impossible to anyone who isn't built "normal."
I'm just really freaking out about what I'm gonna turn out to be. Time is passing and I can't stop it....and I can't stop thinking about it.